Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

The U.S. Post Office announced that today is the busiest shipping day of the year. Six hundred million packages will ship today. And as many as five million of those will actually be delivered.

The Mega Millions Jackpot is now up to five hundred and eighty-six million dollars. The odds of winning are one in two hundred and fifty-nine million. Those are the same odds that Tony Romo will throw a pass to his own teammate in the fourth quarter.

Apple is reportedly sending an investigative team to China to see if several factory workers were literally worked to death. Isn’t that horrible? Worked to death. I read about it today on my iPad.

The comedy segment bit was “Headlines”. There were some pretty amusing ones. Make a game out of it and see if you can find them:

Meredith Vieira was the first couch guest. She will host The Meredith Viera Show next year. The interview was fine. Meredith was friendly, kind and a good sport. I think I would have enjoyed the interview more if she hadn’t tried so hard to be comical. She’s really not that funny. She is intelligent, though, and does much better when she speaks with her brain instead of her funny bone. Here’s the second half of the interview:

J.B. Smoove the second couch guest. He in on the television show The Millers. The interview was ok. I enjoy J.B. for his energy, charisma and humor, but I wish he’d do an interview that was more than just bits from his stand-up routine. He’s already convinced me that he’s a talented entertainer, so it’d be nice to see a non-scripted side of him for a few minutes. Here’s the first part of the interview:

Jake Bugg was the musical guest. He was good.

Decent show. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night