Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Conan:
At a concert the other night Miley Cyrus twerked on Santa Claus. Yeah, so don’t expect Santa Claus to be satisfied with milk and cookies anymore.
Canada has made a territorial claim to the entire North Pole. Unfortunately, while marching out to stake this claim, Canada’s army was defeated by two elks and a salmon.
The FDA has just approved a drug to help cure a condition known as “curved penis.” I didn’t hear the rest of the announcement cause I was too busy high-fiving everyone around me.
The comedy segment bit was “Ice Cube, Kevin Hart and Conan Share a Lyft Car.” It was very entertaining:
Benedict Cumberbatch was the first couch guest. He is in the new films The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and August: Osage County. The interview was fine. Benedict was pleasant, mellow and told some interesting stories. I wish Conan hadn’t spent so much time on Benedict’s role in the latest Star Trek movie. It was released six months ago and was talked to death already before then. There are so many other topics they could have discussed instead of taking the easy way out. Here’s my favorite part of the interview:
George Takei was the second couch guest. He hosts a web series called Takei’s Take. The interview was ok, but I was honestly disappointed in it. It wasn’t George’s fault, I thought he was friendly and funny. Instead, I was annoyed that someone at Conan thought it was necessary to spend over half the interview talking, once again, about Star Trek. George is so much more than that show. His popularity has exploded over the past few years, especially in the area of gay rights. That, George’s web series or just whatever he’s doing for the holidays, would have been, in my opinion, more enjoyable conversations for the two of them to spend the segment on. Needless to say, here’s a clip from the last third of the interview. Star Trek is, mercifully, only mentioned twice:
John Legend was the musical guest. He was great:
Decent show. I give it: