Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

Two armed robbers stole sixty thousand dollars from a Manhattan Whole Foods store. The men are considered armed and organic.

The manager of the Whole Foods tried to get the robbers to put their guns down, because as Whole Foods proves every day: you don’t need a gun to rob people.

Kanye West rented out AT&T Park in San Francisco to propose to Kim Kardashian. It’s nice to see somebody using that park in October.

It’s estimated the ring Kanye gave Kim is worth eight million dollars, making it one of the most expensive engagement rings Kim is ever gonna get.

The comedy segment bit was “99 Cent Shopping Spree”. I’m being generous when I report that it was mildly entertaining.

Harrison Ford was the first couch guest. He’s in the upcoming film Ender’s Game. The interview was great. Harrison was cool, a good sport and told some amusing stories. This was the best late-night interview with him that I’ve seen in a long time. I never would have thought it’d be with Leno, but I really enjoyed their back-and-forth. Here’s most of the interview. For some completely ridiculous reason NBC felt the need to break it up into four parts and STILL cut out two minutes of Harrison discussing Ender’s Game:

Piers Morgan was the second couch guest. He hosts the show Piers Morgan Live. The interview was fine. Piers was pompous, boastful and told some interesting stories. I’m not insulting him with this description, as these are the things I like about Piers. He’s a confident guy who says exactly what’s on his mind and isn’t afraid of controversy. Here’s the interview:

Daughtry was the musical guest. They were ok.

Good show. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night