Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Conan:
During a Senate hearing yesterday, Senator John McCain said It was too hard to always have to update apps on his iPhone. No one had the heart to tell him the device he was holding was a garage door opener.
A study came out and shows that most people are not as good looking as they think they are. The study was conducted by The Institute Of That Bitch, Ashley.
Brad Pitt, in an interview, says that he has very few friends. In other words, just one more thing that Brad Pitt and I have in common.
In New Jersey a woman found her lost dog by luring the dog back with bacon. She also found the governor of New Jersey.
The comedy segment was NBA Mascots That Should Never Dunk Contest. It was hilarious:
Jesse Eisenberg was the first couch guest. He stars in the upcoming film Now You See Me. The interview was good. Jesse was pleasant, mellow and told some amusing stories. He’s a talented actor who I enjoy watching in films, but it’s a little weird seeing him here cause he’s such a low-key dude in real life. Here’s most of the interview:
J.J. Abrams was the second couch guest. He directed Star Trek: Into Darkness. The interview was fine. J.J. was nice and had some interesting insights. I’m a huge J. J. Abrams fan, but the guy is a lot better behind the camera than in front of it. Unbelievably, the interview was cut into three clips and they still left parts of it out:
30 Seconds to Mars was the musical guest. They gave a great performance. If they hadn’t gone overboard with the seizure-inducing lighting I would recommended watching it.
Entertaining show. I give it: