Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Conan:
What a historic day. Who’s been watching the inaugural? President Obama said his second term will be a chance to finish what he started. Then he got out his iPhone and downloaded the last two seasons of Sons of Anarchy.
During the inauguration a teenage boy was spotted flirting with Malia Obama. At this moment the boy’s being flown to a remote location in Afghanistan.
A lot of people are complaining that Katy Perry wore a very revealing outfit at the Kids’ Inaugural Ball on Saturday. They said it was very inappropriate. At least now people know why Bill Clinton was at the Kids’ Inaugural Ball.
A new study was done and it claims that having a sexist father can put a damper on the daughter’s ambitions. In other words, don’t expect big things from Ashley Ahmadinejad. [Only one or two people in the audience laugh] I’m standing by that one.
Here in California they’re about to open the world’s first hotel made entirely of Legos. It’s expected to do better than last year’s Jenga bed and breakfast.
The comedy segment was Fan Corrections. It was absolutely hilarious:
Timothy Olyphant was the first couch guest. He’s on the show Justified. The interview was excellent. Timothy was charismatic, good-natured and told some amusing stories. His unscripted banter with Conan was terrific. Even the scripted promotional bits were more enjoyable to watch than the usual stuff. Here’s just about the entire interview:
Busy Philipps was the second couch guest. She’s on the show Cougar Town. The interview was fine. Busy was pleasant and told some decent stories. Do I recommend watching the interview? Nah, but only because I’m not a big fan of pregnancy stories, honestly.
Coheed and Cambria was the musical guest. They gave a pretty good performance.
Really great show. I give it: