Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

There is big news today on healthcare reform: Dr. Murray is going to jail.

Conrad Murray found guilty of giving Michael Jackson an overdose of a prescription sleeping aid. Pretty reckless on the part of the doctor. They said the sedative he prescribed was five times more powerful than a Joe Biden speech.

Over the weekend we all got an extra hour. Lindsey Lohan used her extra hour to serve her entire prison sentence.

Lindsey Lohan sentenced to 30 days in jail; she was out in four and a half hours. Really, being held against your will for four and a half hours? That’s not a prison sentence, that’s a Jet Blue flight.

Even though she was only in their four and a half hours she said it was cold and scary and awful. Not the jail, the cappuccino they brought her.

The Desk Segment was Headlines. The first half had some good ones:

Ellen Barkin was the first couch guest. She’s in the upcoming film Another Happy Day. I think Ellen is a terrific actress, I really do, but based on her interview I think she’s kind of an idiot otherwise. She was plenty coherent, but her take on things didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I’m sure she’s fun at parties, but she wasn’t able to hit many of the soft-ball Leno questions out of the infield.

Henry Cavill was the second couch guest. He’s in the new film Immortals. This interview was much better. Everything out of Henry’s mouth made sense, and with the British accent actually sounded good. Here’s the much-too-short interview:

Cirque Du Soleil was the performance guest. They were pretty amazing.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night