The Zero-Calorie Habit
It is possible to be addicted to diet soda. I know someone who can’t function correctly without drinking quite a bit of it on a daily basis. I’d host an intervention, but he’s more of an acquaintance then a friend.
Paul continues to be a few amoebas away from never rooting for the Oregon Ducks again. I’m pretty worried about him, so I attended the NC State Fair.
There were a ton of things going on at the State Fair: rides, fireworks, caged farm animals, the opportunity to win a prize that cost one-fourth of what you paid for the chance to win it, and Darius Rucker just to name a few.
I, however, focused almost all of my energy, and cash, on the opportunity to eat as large a variety of unhealthy food in as short a time as possible. Here, now, is part one:
I started my adventure by helping my friend devour a giant turkey leg:
Look at me, I’m one big manly beast of a guy!
I then moved on to…is that a chicken nugget of some sort?
Hell no! That there is a deep-fried Oreo. I’m not going to lie; I ate three of those suckers in less time than it’s taking you to be disgusted by that very fact.
I would have eaten more, but I was running late for my meeting with my first-ever deep-fried Twinkie. Just look at that winter wonderland of golden goodness. And you get a free popsicle stick.
I almost got the entire thing in my mouth. I think this’ll be my new dating website profile picture. Not surprisingly, my wife is ok with that decision.
By the way, I am wearing sunglasses indoors, because I’m that cool.
I then decided to get a little culture, so I consumed some Cajun-fried alligator-on-a-stick. It came with Cajun fries. I am officially a Cajun.
Boy, I sure do know how to shove a lot of meat in my mouth. And look at the way the sun shines off my forehead. It takes a lot of years and some specific genes to accomplish that look.
And this was only half of all the things I ingested. Come back on Wednesday for part II of my eat-fest. I’m calling it: Why My Pants Don’t Fit Anymore.
- Ben
Discussion (13) ¬
Dear lord. And I thought my one-year old puts some disgusting things in his mouth. (Ever tried deep fried crayon on a stick?)
No, but I might.
Is there anything that is not improved by deep frying it? I don’t think so … ouch! Maybe that one thing.
That’s the first rule of deep frying: don’t fry that one thing.
I know tons of folks here at my office that are addicted to Diet Soda’s. They drink them as part of their ever changing diet fads, but they drink them by the cases. I’ll see them trotting down the hall about every hour to pop the top on another one. Just cause it says “Diet” on the side, don’t mean it’s good for ya.
Wow, I would have been hurting at the end of that day, but I would’ve been in step with ya right along the way. That’s one thing I love about the State Fair is getting to live out that one day as Templeton would and eat what ever I want to eat, and deal with the aftermath later. This year the State Fair of Texas had Deep Fried Beer. I for one did not get a chance to try it, but those that did said it was good, definitely different to bit into a pastry looking treat to find drinkable beer waiting for ya.
Man that twinkie looks good.
I too have heard that deep fried beer is good. I too have not had it yet.
The twinkie was as good as it looked.
If you think this was more than enough, wait until you see part 2 on Wednesday. When you put it all together you may just throw up a little bit in your mouth.
Ben – “Boy, I sure do know how to shove a lot of meat in my mouth.”
Paul – “That’s what she said.”
Bazinga!
Groan!
If you like fried foods, you need to make a trip to the Texas State Fair next year. This year I had fried Frito Pies, Fried Cheesecake and Fried BEER! There was also fried Butter and Batter Fried Bacon.
So jealous. I wanted fried cheesecake but didn’t see any. I may indeed have to make a pit stop in Texas next year.
The ultimate would be deep fried fry grease.
I worked with someone who downs a couple cans of Diet Coke every single day. I don’t know how healthy that is lol…