Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon:

I gotta say “congratulations” to Joey Chestnut. On Friday he won the big Fourth of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. He ate sixty-one hot dogs in ten minutes. Another guy was like, “But I ate a hundred,” and the judges said, “But you have to wait until we say ‘go’ Governor Christie.”

Joey Chestnut won his eighth consecutive hot dog eating contest. Unfortunately, the win was overshadowed when his rival Johnny Hotdog won his ninth consecutive chestnut eating contest.

Before the hot dog eating contest, Joey Chestnut proposed to his girlfriend. Yeah, which is a little bittersweet for her, since now she only gets one hot dog for the rest of her life.

A week after opting out of his contact with the Heat, there’s talk that LeBron James could sign with another team in the next few days. He said, “I’m weighing my options, and weighing how heavy the teams are because I’ll be carrying them to the playoffs.”

The comedy segment bits were “Good Advice, Bad Advice” and “Neil Young Sings ‘Fancy’ with Crosby, Stills & Nash.” They were both entertaining enough to recommend watching:

Kiefer Sutherland was the first couch guest. He stars on the show 24: Live Another Day. The interview was fine. Kiefer was upbeat, gracious and told amusing stories, Honestly, Kiefer was great. The reason why the interview wasn’t better was completely due to the host of the show. Jimmy had the distracting and frustrating gall to talk over Kiefer when he was on the cusp of finishing a story not once, twice or thrice but four times. Four times! I understand that Jimmy was excited and full of energy, and finishing a story for a guest once is almost acceptable if he makes it funnier, but four times is ridiculous. Here’s the interview. You can make a game of it and see if you can find all four:

Nicole Richie was the second couch guest. She stars on the upcoming show Candidly Nicole. The interview was surprisingly ok. I’ve never had a high opinion of Nicole over the years, but she seemed more down-to-earth and humbler now that she’s older. She also had a good sense of humor and shared some interesting stories. Here’s the first-half of the interview:

Crosby, Stills & Nash was the musical guest. They gave a decent performance.

Good show. I give it:

– Woody


Posted In: Late Night