Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

Still winter here in New York City. It’s cold outside. Am I right about that? It is 28 and bitter…like Lindsey Lohan.

Well, the Catholics still don’t know what they hell they’re doing. They’re scratching their heads. A couple of weeks ago Pope Benedict was fired. I’m telling you something, they’re going to miss this guy. They better know what they’re doing cause he was very underrated. This is the guy who wanted to replace communion wafers with unlimited breadsticks.

How about that Joe Biden, did you see what he’s talking about now? He said he had advised his wife that everybody should get a shotgun, and if you hear a noise just go out on your deck and fire off a couple of rounds. And I was thinking…a vice president with a shotgun, gosh what could possibly go wrong?

There’s a pizza place in Florida. You come into the pizza place with your gun they’ll give you your pizza 15% off. I’m thinking you take your gun into a pizza place, your pizza outta be free.

The comedy segment was Small Town News. There were one or two funny headlines, but the rest weren’t enjoyable enough to recommend watching.

Hugh Jackman was the first couch guest. He’s a Best Actor nominee for his performance in Les Miserables. The interview was good. Hugh was his usual pleasant and charismatic self. He and Dave discussed Les Miz for most of the interview. I wish I had a longer clip for you to watch, but apparently CBS doesn’t think that a huge movie and Broadway star deserves the bandwidth. So, here’s all you get:

Zosia Mamet was the second couch guest. She is on the show Girls. The interview was fine. Zosia was nice, but kinda standoffish. I’m sure she has a decent personality, but Dave didn’t have a lot of time to bring it to the surface. Still, CBS felt that this interview was worth more internet bandwidth, so here’s the second-half:

The Americans was the musical guests. They were great.

An average show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night