Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

Yesterday President Obama gave a big speech at the U.S.-Mexican border. The President called for “creating a pathway to citizenship.” We already have pathways; they’re called “tunnels.” They’re right under where he was standing. There’s like a million of them.

We are learning more and more about Osama bin Laden. Doctors say because of a high-salt diet he had a problem always retaining water. Well, if you thought he was retaining water before…

Newt Gingrich announced he was running for president. I think Newt Gingrich would make a very interesting president. If you think about it, every six months we’d have a different first lady.

This week millions of Ford trucks were recalled with a problem with the gas tank. Yeah, they’re empty, nobody’s got 100 dollars to fill ‘em up. That’s the problem.

The desk segment was Products That Should Never Merge. It was actually pretty entertaining:

Dick Van Dyke was the first couch guest. He is an entertainment legend who has been in show business for six decades. The interview was good. Dick looks terrific, sounds great and still has a wonderful sense of humor. He had plenty of interesting stories to tell. Here’s the interview:

Khloe  Kardashian Odom was the second couch guest. She’s, among other things, a TV personality and entrepreneur. I’m honestly not really into the whole Kardashian drama world, and I don’t care that her husband is a Laker, so I didn’t really pay close attention. That said, there was nothing fundamentally wrong with the interview, overall it was fine.

Steve Earle was the musical guest. He was good.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night