Bar Fly
See what I did with the title there? Woody isn’t a barfly, which is a person who frequents bars, often to drink to excess. No, Woody is a bar fly, a guy who annoyingly buzzes around other people who are trying to drink in peace. Pretty clever, huh? No? Well, forget you then.
Let me share with you how I began my weekend. On Friday night I went to a friend’s house to participate in his monthly Texas Hold’em poker tournament. On the second hand I was dealt a king and ten of clubs. The flop was a nine of spades, jack of hearts and a queen of spades. That’s right; I’m looking at a king-high straight on the flop.
Now, there were ten of us at the table. The probability of getting a straight at all, much less on the flop, was pretty low. So, I figured I had to have the best hand. Only one other person stayed in. He and I raised the pot. I reveled in the thought of doubling my stack and take an early lead. The turn card was an ace of spades. My straight was now ace-high. This was getting better and better. We both through chips into the pile. At this point I was planning my victory meal at McDonald’s.
The river card was a king of spades. That didn’t help me, but that did mean that there were four spades on the table: nine, queen, king and ace. My opponent went all in. My heart sank. I figured he must have had a flush. A flush beats a straight. I hated giving up my hand, and most of my chips, but I did.
It turns out I made the right choice. That %^&*#@! had the ten and jack of spades in his hand. He had a royal straight flush.
With most of my chips now at the other end of the table I folded the next ten hands. Then, after the blinds had eaten up more of my meager stack, I was dealt pocket rockets. Ok, when you’re handed two aces you have to take that as a sign to go for the gusto. I went all in…and lost to that same #$%^&*@ guy again. This time he beat my two pair with a full house.
Did I mention that this site accepts donations?
– Ben
And just how many has Joseph killed for just that sort of thing… and would Renee be able to stop laughing long enough to help him dispose of the body?