Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Conan:
Did you all have a good weekend? I did. I went to the movies. I saw the new hit movie Harry Potter and the Long Line of Single People.
People lined up for days to see that movie, which is nice. It’s nice to see a long line these days where no one is getting their junk touched.
The turkey that President Obama pardons this year will come from California. A spokesman for the turkey said it doesn’t need a pardon, it needs a job.
There’s a new version of Rolling Stone that’s being published specifically for the Middle East. Yeah, it’s called Throwing Stone.
The desk segments included using the Conan blimp to stalk Gary Busey, and the new TBS theme music. The Busey bit was lame, but the new theme was sophomorically funny:
Christina Aguilera was the first couch guest. She is in the upcoming film Burlesque. The interview started out decent enough but really got going around the seven-minute mark. If you can hold out that long it’s worth watching:
Zachary Levi was the second couch guest. He stars on Chuck and is in the new movie Tangled. I like Zach; he’s a pretty entertaining actor. The interview was good. Zach told a couple of fun stories.
Christina Aguilera returned as the musical guest. Her voice is still amazing.
Good show. I give it: