Lively Up Front And Mellow On The Finish

When my high-school guidance counselor asked me what my plans were after I graduated, I told him that I was going to college X to major in Y and get a job in Z. He shrugged his shoulders and sent me on my way.

What he should have done is said, “Ben. Screw that. In half the time you can become a Master Sommelier. Those guys travel the world, drink wine all day and then get paid a ridiculous sum of money for telling other people what wine they should pair with their fish if it’s after 8:00 PM on Monday, the Cubs won and two or more planets are in alignment. That’s the life for you.”

Instead, I went to college X, majored in Y and failed to get a job in Z. I blame my high-school guidance counselor. Is it too late to pursue legal action? Gimme a minute to finish this $4 bottle of Alabama Pinot Noir and then we’ll call a random lawyer.

– Ben