Letting It Be

Someday the people of this glorious Union will elect me to the office of President of the United States. To be honest I’ll probably only serve for a few weeks before I get bored. But, until I take off in the dead of night and leave this country without a leader, I promise to force Congress to enact the following three laws:

1. All federal money currently being used to fight the War on Drugs, Terror, the Middle Class and Canada must immediately be re-routed to the War on Allergies.

2. Restaurant buffets, regardless of type or time of day, must include bacon, french fry and milkshake choices.

3. Anyone who refuses to use a crosswalk at night while it is actively raining may be tasered.

– Ben