I Speak From Years Of Experience
Compared to all the problems our world is currently facing, people (or “#@$%^&*!” as I prefer to call them) parking their carts in all sorts of immensely inconvenient ways while grocery shopping seems like such a small thing to be bothered by. Yet it gets under my skin and festers, like an itch that won’t go away because it’s really one of those ancient creature-thingys from The Mummy movie. I have developed blueprints for a small missile launcher that can be attached to the front of the cart. It doesn’t come with a safety switch, so it can be fired in the heat of the moment without a care for consequences. Plus, it has a cup holder. I’ve taken it to a few military contractors, but so far I haven’t heard back from any of them.
I should have an update on my Penelope Pineapple eating progress later today. I gotta pay a few bills first. Stop by this afternoon and see how much progress I’ve made. It’s scary. Delicious, but scary.
Update 3:30 PM: The Penelope Pineapple update is up. Scroll down to the bottom of the gummi page to see it.