Hide And Seek

Tequila is a beautiful woman.

When I began drinking my first frozen margarita last night I said, “Tequila, you and I are now friends. We need to work together in order to accomplish a singular goal.” And the tequila responded, “Sounds good Ben. I’m here for you. Let’s rock this world.”

When I began drinking my second frozen margarita I said, “Tequila, you and I are now good friends. We’ve spent some quality time together. I’m having a lot of fun with you.” And the tequila responded, “I feel the same way. Let’s continue to rock and roll.”

When I began drinking my third frozen margarita I said, “Tequila, you and I are now best friends. Be honest with me, is our time together almost over or do you think we can keep going?” And the tequila responded, “Ben, the night will never end. You are an amazing guy and there is nothing we can’t accomplish together.”

When I began drinking my fourth frozen margarita I said, “Tequila, you and I are officially engaged to be married. Will our relationship always be this wonderful for ever and ever?” And the tequila responded, “Yup.”

When I began drinking my fifth frozen margarita I said, “Tequila, something is wrong. We don’t seem to feel the same way we used too. Also, you’re not wearing the ring that I bought you anymore.” And the tequila responded, “Yeah, Ben, we need to talk. This isn’t working out anymore. I don’t like it here. It’s time for me to leave through the same door I came in. Bye.”

So, Tequila left and took most of my furniture with her. I asked my friends for compassion, for I was sad. The only solace I received was was, “Lightweight.”

Tequila is a @#$%ing bitch.

– Ben