Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes and bits from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

Today happens to be one of my least-favorite days of the year: the Monday after Daylight Saving Time starts. For those of you who don’t know, Daylight Saving Time was put into practice so that farmers could purpose to their reality dating show contestants an hour earlier.

Apple officially unveiled the new Apple Watch. There are three versions of it: the Apple Watch Sport, which is $349, the Apple Watch starts at $549, and the Apple Watch Edition, which is made of 18-karat gold, starts at $10,000 and caps out at $17,000, depending upon how eager you are to get mugged.

There was no comedy segment, but one could argue that “The Guillermo Show” bit qualifies.

Bette Midler was the first couch guest. She will be on a singing tour starting in May. The interview was great. Bette was enthusiastic, had wonderful sense of humor and shared both interesting and amusing stories. She has had, and continues to have, a pretty cool life; I wish the interview could have gone on a lot longer. Here’s most of it:

After a break Bette sang three of Kim Kardashian’s tweets. It was ok, but not enough to recommend watching.

Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson were the second couch guests. They will be in the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. The interview was useless. I understand that it’s important for JKL, which is on ABC, to have these two on immediately after the announcement was made on ABC’s The Bachelor, but most of the segment was spent admitting that no one knows yet how the show is going to work. Secondly, these two talentless nobodies are sitting on the same couch and receiving the same admiration and attention as Bette Midler (a living legend who has been more productive in the past month than either of these two will be in their lifetimes) did a few minutes earlier. That’s just criminal.

The Afghan Whigs was the musical guest. They were fine.

Good show overall, despite some stuff. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night