Arsenio Hall Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Arsenio Hall Show:

The new Godzilla movie comes out next week. Japanese movie fans aren’t too happy. They’re complaining that the new Godzilla is too fat. I’m not gonna say Godzilla’s fat, but he’s fighting Mothra and diabetes.

Godzilla’s so thick that black men are attracted to Godzilla.

Victor Espinoza was then brought out on stage. He is a jockey who won this year’s Kentucky Derby. It’s impressive that, of all the late-night talk shows, The Arsenio Hall Show was able to get Victor less than two days after Derby. But it’s baffling that the show thought the two of them talking on stage after a few monologue jokes was better than on the couch after the monologue was over. The transition from a few mediocre jokes to a reasonably serious discussion about being a jockey was awkward, and watching them stand there was weird. Here’s the first part of the interview:

The comedy segment bit was “Arsenio Auditions New Clippers Cheerleaders.” It was lame.

Billy Bob Thornton was the only couch guest. He’s one of the stars of the television show Fargo. The interview was fine. Billy Bob was kind, mellow and shared an amusing story. I enjoy Billy Bob as an actor, I think he’s a talented guy. He always seems so crazy on screen that it’s weird seeing him so open and humble during an interview. He really looks like he doesn’t want to be there, but is toughing it out. It doesn’t make for the most exciting time, but it does make for an interesting one. The segment ended with Billy Bob and Arsenio performed dramatic readings of Craigslist Missed Connections, which was decently entertaining. Here’s the interview:

Paul Mooney was the stand-up guest. I got the feeling that some, or maybe most, of his performance was edited out. What they left in was semi-racy, but not very funny.

The show inexplicably had enough time left for a segment in which comedian Zainab Johnson visits a poll dancing class. It was ok, but not worth watching.

Very mediocre show. I give it:

– Woody


Posted In: Late Night