Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Jimmy Kimmel took the last two weeks off to get married and honeymoon in Europe. He’s back, has a bunch of extra hair on his face and ready to go. Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

As you can see, I have a beard. As you can see, I got married. Which, I guess, means I have two beards.

Weddings are very expensive. First, you have to ship the bride in from Russia. Then there’s the reception. Three hundred Lean Cuisine dinners, that’s a lot of money. Our guests seemed to have a good time, though. A lot of them had never been to a go kart track before.

Here’s something I wasn’t aware of until my wedding day: did you know the wedding cake is for everyone to share? But overall it was a great time, and I’d like to give a special “thanks” to everyone at the Extended Stay America in Pomona who made us feel so welcome.

I was adding it up today, I now have the same number of marriages under my belt as all the seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette combined: two. You know, looking for love on The Bachelorette is like looking for a salad at McDonald’s. You might find it, but it’s not going to be good.

The comedy segments were Weiner’s Campaign Manager Quits and The Pedestrian Question. Both had entertaining moments, but only one is worth watching in my opinion:

Neil Patrick Harris was the first couch guest. He stars in the upcoming film The Smurfs 2. The interview was very good. Neil, as usual, was terrific. That’s a biased opinion, of course, but how can you not love and respect an actor who recommends people take acid before seeing his newest movie? Here’s 90% of the interview:

Clayton Kershaw was the second couch guest. He is a pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers. The interview was great. Clayton was charismatic, easygoing and told some amusing stories. I was impressed with  with communication skills and humble demeanor. He interviewed very well for a young sports star:

Pepper was the musical guest. They were ok.

Enjoyable show. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night