Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Fortunately, there are enough late-night talk shows on television that even during a holiday week at least one of them is still airing new episodes. This week Jimmy Kimmel Live! rises to the challenge while the other shows take a break.

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s show:

It’s too hot. I hate to point fingers, but I blame the sun. It was so hot in LA today you could cook a tofu-based cruelty-free egg substitute on the sidewalk.

Six half-marathon runners were hospitalized yesterday for running in a hundred degree heat. They were rushed to a mental hospital.

You don’t hear about innovations in the funeral business much. Carl Eggleston, he owns the Oliver and Eggleston Funeral establishment in Farmville, Virginia, just added a drive-through to his funeral home. There’s a special window on the side of funeral home where they’ll put an open casket so you can pay loved ones the same kind of respect you’d pay an Egg McMuffin. It’s a great way to say I care, but not enough to get out of my car.

The comedy segments were, in a word, stupid.

Johnny Depp was the first couch guest. He stars in the upcoming film The Lone Ranger. Even after watching it twice I’m still conflicted about my rating on this interview. One the one hand, Johnny was nice, spontaneous and told amusing stories, but on the other hand he hid behind a hat and sunglasses, which he didn’t do when he was a guest on the Late Show last week. I understand that Johnny is shy and has anxiety issues, but I think Kimmel deserved the same respect  Letterman received regarding dressing for the interview. Still, Letterman didn’t get kisses like Kimmel did, so maybe it’s a wash. Here’s the first third of the interview:

Rebecca Romijn was the second couch guest. She is one of the stars of the show King and Maxwell. The interview was fine. Rebecca was personable, loud and told a decent story or two. I’m glad the interview was short, because I’m not kidding when I tell you she was loud. It didn’t look to me like she had to put a lot of effort into speaking, so it must just be how she is.

Steve Martorano was the cooking guest. He was great:

Good show with extra bonus points for being the only one working this week. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night