Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

According to the Pew Research Center, one-third of Mexico’s population would move to the United States if they could. You know why? So they could live near the other two-thirds.

The Chicago Cubs said they will move if improvements are not made to Wrigley Field. Today, Wrigley Field said they will move if improvements are not made to the Chicago Cubs.

More problems for Lindsey Lohan; her car was towed in New York City the other night. It was illegally parked. Apparently she left it on top of the guy she’d run over.

The comedy segment was What’s Appening. It tried to be hip, I’ll give it that.

Kathy Griffin was the first couch guest. She is a stand-up comedian. The interview was irritating because I find Kathy to be immensely annoying. Every time I am subject to words coming out of her mouth I cringe in pain.

Eli Roth was the second couch guests. He stars in the upcoming film Aftershock. The interview was mediocre. Eli, for some reason, felt he needed to tell three stories and promote his film in under eight minutes. To accomplish this he spoke at a ridiculously fast pace. If he had just told one story, or two tops, the interview might have been better.

Cheap Trick was the musical guest. Whatever.

Weak show. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night