Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

You know, when there’s something going on that’s important to the survival of mankind, celebrities are all over it. They want to be associated with something to save the planet. Like Earth Day, guess who was out today picking up trash? Charlie Sheen. I believe her name was Rhonda.

Do you like new studies? Entertainers die younger. Yeah, I’ll tell you something. You try working one hour a day. And then, on the other hand, you have a guy like Regis Philbin who’s almost ninety, but technically not an entertainer.

Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York City. He announced it earlier today in his underpants.

Weiner says that he’s going to run because he’s done extensive polling. And I said, “I KNOW! That’s what got you in trouble in the first place!”

The comedy segment consisted of Stooge of the Night, Small Town News and Top Ten Signs Your First Day as a News Anchor Didn’t Go Well. The first two were lame, but the Top Ten was pretty funny:

Matthew McConaughey was the first couch guest. He’s in the new film Mud. The interview was fine. Matthew was cool and charismatic as usual, and he needed it, cause Letterman seemed to be a little grouchy. Dave spent the first half of the interview taking his mood out on Matthew with little jabs and attempts to catch him off-guard. Somewhere around the middle of the segment he got over whatever was bothering him and the rest of the interview was less tense. I dunno, maybe I read it all wrong. Watch it and let me know what you think:

Ryan Lochte was the second couch guest. He stars in What Would Ryan Lochte Do? The interview was entertaining. Letterman toyed with Ryan like a cat that paws a bug back and forth. I think Dave had a real appreciation for Ryan’s Olympic accomplishments, but little respect for Ryan or his new reality show. Ryan did his best, but he was underwater as soon as he walked out on stage. Here’s the interview:

Steve Earl and the Dukes was the musical guests. They gave a nice performance.

Decent show. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night