Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

Manti T’eo, he’s in college, and it turns out for four years he’s dating a woman he’s never seen. He had an imaginary girlfriend for four years. Now the guy who was pretending to be Manti T’eo’s invisible girlfriend is on the Dr. Phil show. So you have a guy pretending to be a girlfriend talking to a guy pretending to be a doctor.

Kind of in a related topic, the Earth’s temperature has gone up two degrees, which is two more degrees than Dr. Phil has.

Women serving in the United States Military will now be serving in combat. Finally, there will somebody in the tank that will stop and ask for directions.

Oh boy, Beyonce. Here’s the thing: you look at somebody and you think, “Whoa, you’ve got the world on a string.” Well now she’s in real trouble and may go to jail because they caught her lip syncing at the inauguration. And I thought, “Well that’s interesting cause I remember, for eight years, we had a president who was lip synching Dick Cheney.”

The comedy segments included the Top Ten Questions To Ask Before Sending Your Monkey Into Space. It was ok:

Melissa McCarthy was the first couch guest. She stars in the upcoming film Identity Thief. The interview was great. Michael was pleasant, funny and told some entertaining stories. She and Dave looked like they were having a fun time together. Here’s a clip:

David Morrissey was the second couch guest. He is on the show The Walking Dead. The interview was very good. David was friendly, amusing and told some interesting stories. I enjoyed learning a little bit about what life was like for him growing up. I wish there was more of the interview online for me to share, but here’s all I’ve got:

David Byrne and St. Vincent were the musical guests. They gave a decent performance.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night