Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

A man here in Los Angeles found $175,000 worth of marijuana buried in his backyard. He immediately called the police to return the $125,000 worth of marijuana. The police thanked him for the $10,000 marijuana.

Al-Qaeda’s number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al-Qaeda’s number three man announced he’s stepping down to spend more time with his family.

For the first time ever, Asians are immigrating to this country much more than any other minority group. And they assimilate very quickly, considering the fact that when they get here most of them don’t even speak Spanish.

The comedy segment was Headlines. The whole thing isn’t worth watching, but this part was pretty entertaining:

Matt Damon was the first couch guest. He stars in the upcoming film Promised Land. The interview was great. Matt was friendly, amusing and told some interesting stories. I honestly can’t help but like Matt; he’s such a darn likeable guy. He even stayed for the rest of the show, which fewer and fewer late-night guests of his caliber tend to do these days. Here were my favorite parts of the interview:

Chris Pratt was the second couch guest. He’s on the show Parks and Recreation and in the new film Zero Dark Thirty. Overall the interview was fine, but it took a while to get there. I don’t know why Jay focused for so long on a story about Chris eating a possum when he was younger, it wasn’t very interesting. Chris, meanwhile, did a fine, if not really inspiring, job. Here’s the second part of the interview:

Of Monsters And Men was the musical guest. They gave a really nice performance.

Good show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night