Late Late Show Highlights

The cold open from last night’s Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson was decent enough to recommend:

Here were my favorite monologue jokes:

It’s a great day for America everyone. It’s a tricky day for General David Patraeus, I’ll be honest. The CIA Director has resigned. The FBI caught him having an affair with his biographer. Looking back on it, the signs were there though. I’m not making this up, this is true, Paula Broadwell’s biography about Patraeus is titled “All In.”

Broadwell’s editors were surprised when they read the book. They had their suspicions cause, in-between the stories of the general’s battlefield heroism and brilliant strategy, she wrote an entire chapter about the shape of his balls. Shaped like pentagons, apparently.

Truth is many women are attracted to men in power. And powerful men are attracted to women who…are women. Which is all of them. So, to recap, men are pigs, but some of them have cool jobs.

General Patraeus spent the weekend cleaning out his office. You know, putting his junk in a box.

I’m not surprised that the General had an affair with his biographer. Something so intimate. There’s intimacy. If you’re a biographer you’re tracing the arc of someone’s life. They get very close. This usually happens. This usually leads to sex. It did with my biographer. Wait a minute, Craig, you wrote an autobiography. Yes I did. And as I was writing I truly was an Army of One.

The comedy segment was tweetmail. There were some amusing moments, but I don’t think it’s worth sitting through the rest of the segment to see them.

Nikki Reed was the first couch guest. She is in the upcoming Twilight film Breaking Dawn Part 2. The interview was very entertaining. Nikki was pleasant and had a decent sense of humor, and Craig was hilarious. There was some quality banter between them. If you enjoy a healthy dose of double entendres, you’ll enjoy watching this interview:

Dave Attell was the second couch guest. He is a stand-up comedian and host of the show Dave’s Old Porn. The interview was quite good, but also quite short. Dave is a pretty likeable and funny guy. I wish he and Ferguson had had more time to chat. Here’s the interview:

Nikki Reed returned as the musical guest with her husband Paul McDonald. They gave a nice performance.

No closing segment, unfortunately.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night