Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

I see you all survived Carmageddon 2 over the weekend. They shut the 405 Freeway down from midnight on Friday until late last night. The mayor asked Los Angelinos to stay off the road while crews demolished the Mulholland Bridge. Even our freeways in LA get cosmetic surgery. In fact, next weekend Bruce Jenner’s face is going to be shut down from 4 AM Saturday until Monday morning.

But, despite the fact that they closed the most congested freeway in America, traffic was not a problem at all. People did stay away from the 405, some because they were worried about traffic, others because they were using Apple Maps and couldn’t find it.

Justin Bieber had an embarrassing moment on stage Saturday night. He kicked off his Believe tour in Phoenix, and mid-way through the show he vomited on stage. And he didn’t just throw up once, he threw up twice. You know, once is an accident, but when it happens twice maybe the songs are trying to tell you something.

Evidently IKEA has a store in Saudi Arabia. Because of the local sensitivities in Saudi Arabia IKEA had to airbrush all the women out of their catalog. I guess it was easier to do that than to put them all in burkas. As it turns out, though, Saudi Arabian men weren’t angry about how the women in the catalog were dressed; they were just upset they couldn’t order them.

Zooey Deschanel was the first couch guest. She is on the show New Girl. The interview was fine. Zooey was pretty mellow. I think she was tired after filming her show earlier that day. Despite that she was friendly, engaging and enjoyable to watch. Here are the first two-thirds of the interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_r5fnGqNjY

Maggie Grace the second couch guest. She’s in the upcoming film Taken 2. The interview was good. Maggie was fun. She and Jimmy had a good rapport. She told some amusing stories about members of her family. It’s a pity because she seemed like an interesting person, so it would have been better if she had talked more about what she has been up to instead. Here’s the interview:

Eclectic Approach was the musical guest. They did a nice job.

Good show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night