Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

The UN is in business. Anybody here from the UN? Yeah, they opened up the UN, and all of the diplomats agree that the opening ceremonies at the UN…they feel that they were better last year than this year, cause, you know, last year Billy Cristal was hosting. Last night we had the Secret Service here, and the bomb-sniffing dogs actually caught that joke and we didn’t do it. But they’re not here tonight.

Well, it’s fall. Unless you’re Mitt Romney, then it’s free-fall. Mitt Romney says about half the country is freeloaders. That includes wealthy politicians who only pay 13% in tax.

Do you like ancient Biblical stuff? Theologians have newly uncovered ancient parchments, and they indicate that Jesus had a wife. Included in the parchments his wife says that Jesus always felt cheated because Christmas and his birthday fell on the same day. This woman, Jesus’ wife, apparently before marrying Christ dated Regis. And Jesus and his wife had a son: Jesus W. Christ. They’re getting my room ready in Hell. But, hey, at least it’s a room.

The comedy segments were some feelings on Mitt and the Top Ten Mitt Romney Pet Peeves About Americans:

Michael Strahan was the first couch guest. He is a co-host of the morning talk show Live! with Kelly and Michael. The interview was pretty good. Michael was friendly, funny and charismatic. He and Dave got along very well and had some interesting conversations. Here are some clips:

Arthur Meyer was the second couch guest. He’s in the new film We Made This Movie. The interview was fine. Arthur was understandably nervous, but he held it together well. Dave teased him a couple of times with some harmless and amusing jabs, and Arthur rolled with them competently. Arthur was probably pretty used to the atmosphere, since he’s a writer on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Here’s the first half of the interview:

Band of Horses was the musical guest. They gave a nice performance.

Good show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night