Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

I’m glad to see everyone made it through the earthquake. Sometimes, in LA, you don’t know if it was an earthquake or if Lindsey Lohan crashed her car into your house.

You know how they always say animals can sense when an earthquake is coming? How come they never tell any of us? Some barking would be nice. What is the point of keeping that information to yourselves? And they wonder why we eat them.

The other big news here in LA is that our city council voted to ban medical marijuana dispensaries. This comes as very bad news for pot smokers, as well as the makers of Funions and Visine.

Mitt Romney today left for a six-day trip to meet with leaders in other countries, and to visit his money. He missed it.


Lisa Kudrow was the first couch guest. She stars on the show Web Therapy. The interview was good. Lisa was pleasant and told some interesting stories. I was, however, a little disappointed that Jimmy spent the first third of the segment talking about Friends. Yes, it was a huge television show, and I’ve seen every episode, but it’s a boring subject now, and I’m reasonable sure Lisa is tired of talking about it. She’s done more than enough fascinating things before and since that show to fill her entire time. The middle third of the interview, where the Friends talk finally dies down, was my favorite part:

Rosemarie DeWitt was the second couch guest. She’s in the upcoming film The Watch. The interview was also good. Rosemarie was friendly, told some amusing stories and genuinely acted like she enjoyed being there and talking with Jimmy. Here’s the second-half of the interview:

Trey Songz was the musical guest. He gave a decent performance.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night