Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

As you know by now, Katie Holmes has divorced Tom Cruise. You know, I gotta be honest, I didn’t think Rock of Ages was that bad.

Justin Bieber was arrested for speeding over the weekend. He was going over 100 mph on the 101 freeway. There was no alcohol involved, but the arresting office said Bieber did appear “dreamy.”

Down in San Diego, on the fourth of July, a computer glitch caused the fireworks to all go off at the same time. The show was supposed to last half an hour; it was over in twelve seconds. Kinda like my wedding night.

Mitt Romney’s campaign raised 35 million dollars more than President Obama in the month of June. Out of force of habit Mitt stashed it all in the Cayman Islands.

According to the journal Nature, two million years ago a pre-human species in Southern Africa lived almost exclusively on a diet of leafs, fruit, woody and bark. So apparently they had Whole Foods supermarkets back then too.

The desk segment was Headlines. It was pretty enjoyable. I actually laughed out loud at a few:

Wanda Sykes was the first couch guest. She is in the new film Ice Age 4: Continental Drift. The interview was ok. That last time I saw Wanda on the Tonight Show I thought she was really funny. This time I didn’t find her stories and jokes as entertaining. Also, it didn’t seem to me like she really put a lot of effort into being there. Here’s the second-half of the interview:

Rob Riggle was the second couch guest. He is hosting the 2012 ESPY Awards this week. This interview was better. I found Rob’s stories more interesting, and I appreciated his enthusiasm for being on the show. Here’s the first-half of the interview:

Kimbra was the musical guest. She was fine.

Decent show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night