Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

Have you heard about the lady who got arrested for bringing her five year-old to a tanning salon? Well first off, guess which state she’s from. New Jersey, that’s right. Is that even a crime in New Jersey? In New Jersey I think they call that day care. Congratulations to New Jersey for really giving Florida a run for its money lately.

Remember Levi Johnston? He had a kid with Bristol Palin. Well Levi’s about to become a father again. He’s having a daughter this time with another girlfriend. They say they’ve already settled on the name, and that name is Breeze Beretta. You know, I think you have to let your kid pick her own stripper name, you shouldn’t give it. It’s like they’re giving birth to an action hero. I’m surprised by this; Levi usually makes very sound decisions.

Newt Gingrich officially suspended his presidential campaign today. He said he’s leaving the race because he’s already accomplished what he set out to do, and that was to eat a Cinnabon in each of the fifty states.


Kimmel actually had something that resembled a desk segment. It was pretty decent:


William H. Macy was the first couch guest. He is on the show Shameless. The interview was great. I really like William as an actor and I like him equally as much as a person. He’s a down-to-earth kinda guy with a great personality and a huge amount of talent. Here’s the interview:


Eva Green was the second couch guest. She is in the upcoming film Dark Shadows. The interview was really enjoyable. Eva was so much fun to watch. I admit that I was completely mesmerized by her. Let me know if you agree:



Brad was the musical guest. They were fine.

Really good show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night