Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

Welcome to the show. How many folks came in on the space shuttle? Friday they had the Enterprise on the back of a 747 flying up and down the Hudson and all around Manhattan. And then they landed it, it spent the weekend at the airport. Eh, it’s going pretty good, so far only the stereo has been stolen.

Here in New York City turns out there’s a woman in an apartment on the Upper East Side, and she has lived in the same apartment for one hundred years. So congratulations to Barbara Walters…

We now have an infestation of sweat bees. They’re attracted to people, guys in particular, heavyset guys, who perspire….no, that’s not sweet bees, I’m thinking of Snooki.

A year ago Osama bin Laden was killed. They say Osama would be alive today if his body guards hadn’t been screwing around with hookers.

He was watching tv, this is a true story, and his last words, just before Seal Team Six came busting in, he turned to his wives and said, “Hey girls, let’s see who’s on Leno.”

The desk segments were Dave Tube and Top Ten Ways Mitt Romney Begins Conversations With Teens:



Don Rickles was the only couch guest. He is a legendary comedian who is somehow still on tour despite being 85 years old. The interview was ok. It had some entertaining moments, and Letterman seemed to be enjoying himself. Ninety percent of the conversation was about a time long before me, but it’s refreshing to have someone one who’s older than the host once in a while. Regis even made an appearance. Here’s a clip:


Carrie Underwood was the musical guest. She gave a nice performance.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night