Late Show Highlights

Happy birthday to David Letterman. The thirty year late-night host turns 65 today!

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

This week they’re commemorating the one hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. There are a couple of ships that are recreating the actual voyage of the Titanic. I heard last night that the same crew is getting together and recreating this show.

CBS has invited me, and we agreed, we’ll be staying here a little bit longer, two more years here at CBS. They didn’t exactly invite me to stay, it was more like, “I don’t know, I don’t wanna tell him, you want to tell him?” Two more years plus eight hundred hours of community service. Then, when I’m done here with the show I’ll start the DAVE network.

I was just looking at the guest list for tonight’s show before I came out here. Did I read this right? Is Lady Bird Johnson on the show tonight?

Remember Charles Manson? Once a year they go through this exercise where he has to have a parole hearing to see if he qualifies for parole. And every year, as you would expect, it’s been rejected. Well, this year Manson doesn’t even show up for the parole meeting. And I thought, pfft, with an attitude like that…

Letterman wanted to get directly to his guests, so there wasn’t a desk segment. It was a bummer not having a Top Ten List, but I can’t say that I blame him for the decision.

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were the first couch guests. They are former NBA players for the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers respectively. The interview was terrific. It was really great to watch Dave, Larry and Magic together talking about one of the greatest rivalries in basketball history and the resulting friendship that continues to this day. They are a neat example of two very different people, for example Magic was his usual outgoing and smiling self while Larry was very reserved and rarely smiled, who were fierce competitors 20 years ago and still would be today if someone gave them a basketball. I suggest going to the Late Show website and watching the whole interview. But if you don’t have the time, then watch these clips:





Jim Gaffigan was the second couch guest. He is a comedian with a new stand-up special titled Mr. Universe. The interview was entertaining. I enjoy Jim’s comedy and thought he was very funny, especially considering he had to follow Bird and Johnson. He didn’t have a lot of time so he crammed in as many jokes, most of which I’m guessing are in his stand-up special, as he could. Here’s a clip:


Kaiser Chiefs was the musical guest. There were really good.

Excellent show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night