Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Did you all set your clocks ahead an hour? You know we lost an hour. Actually, I lost two hours. I went to go see that John Carter movie.

Here’s some very scary news. They say gasoline could be six dollars a gallon by summer. But the good news is the White House says President Obama is aware of the problem and will continue to talk about it between fundraisers.

Are you ready for March Madness? You know what’s amazing? There are sixty-eight teams playing for the title, and yet they’ll probably decide a winner before the Republicans do.

The new Disney cruise ship called The Disney Fantasy is set to take its inaugural cruise from Port Canal Florida later this month. Disney says this new state-of-the-art ship will finally give vacationers the experience of being robbed at sea by someone other than Somali pirates.

The desk segment was Headlines. There were some good ones in there, you just have to put up with the bad ones too:

Jessica Simpson was the first couch guest. She is one of the mentors on the new show Fashion Star. I’m going to try to be as objectively subjective as I can and say that the interview was fine. I’m not a Jessica Simpson fan, and talk about how she (or anyone else for that matter) is extremely pregnant isn’t my first choice of a conversation topic, so overall the interview didn’t do much for me. That being said there wasn’t anything particularly bad about Jessica or the words that came out of her mouth. She was who she is, Jay was who he is and the interview happened.

Adam Carolla was the second couch guest. He has a daily podcast show and was recently fired by Trump on Celebrity Apprentice. The interview was pretty good. Adam was funny, told some entertaining stories and wasn’t mean to Jessica. So, overall, it’s worth watching:

Soja was the musical guest. They were fine.

An ok show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night