Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

The Chinese Vice-President Xi Jinping visited President Obama at the White House yesterday. See, that shows you how different China is from us. For example, in China the vice president is actually important.

I thought this was nice. While he was at the White House the Chinese vice present showed Obama pictures of his children…and the factories where they work.

Earlier this week President Obama released his new 3.8 trillion dollar budget. 3.8 trillion dollars. That is more money than Romney makes in a week.

And because of our fifteen trillion dollar debt new cuts in NASA’s budget may end future searches for life on other planets. Well that seems like a big mistake, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t we be looking for other planets to borrow money from?

Did everyone have a nice Valentine’s Day? Mitt Romney and his wife wanted to spend a nice quiet Valentine’s night just by themselves, so they went to one of Mitt’s campaign rallies.

The desk segment was Headlines. The first half was entertaining enough:

Bill Maher was the first couch guest. He is the host of the show Real Time with Bill Maher. The interview was fine, but could have been better. I respect Bill quite a bit. I think he’s intelligent, funny and I like the fact that he gets fired up but is still able to speak coherently and make a point. He fails in my opinion when he tries to do all three in the same sentence, which was the format of the first two-thirds of the interview. In the final third he saved the funny for the second sentence and it went a lot better. Here’s the final third of the interview:

Ali Wentworth was the second couch guest. She is an actress, comedian and author of a NY Times Best Seller. The interview was very good. Ali told two very long but funny stories about her personal life that I enjoyed listening to. Here’s the interview:

Punch Brothers was the musical guest. They were great.

Good show. I give it:

– Ben

Posted In: Late Night