Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Conan.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she has dirt on Newt Gingrich, but so far she’s keeping her lips sealed. Not because of discretion, because that’s how the last surgeon left them.
A new website just came out, and it’s been designed to calculate how long it takes Mitt Romney to earn your salary. So, from now on whenever Mitt Romney is running late, he can call his wife and say, “I’ll be there in five teachers.”
The Olive Garden announced its undergoing a makeover to try and increase business. They’re so desperate they’re even considering serving Italian food.
The desk segments were Guy Fieri Eating in Reverse and Deon Cole’s Tea Party Slavery Deal. They were both pretty funny:
Elizabeth Banks was the first couch guest. She’s in the film Man on a Ledge. The interview was pretty good. Elizabeth was very energetic, outgoing and funny. I think she rubbed off on Conan, as he was more entertaining with her than with a typical guest. Here’s the first half of the interview where she talks about how she met her husband:
Timothy Olyphant was the second couch guest. He’s the star of the show Justified. The interview was terrific because Timothy was awesome. He was very funny and told some great stories. I really wish the interview was longer, cause Timothy was hitting it out of the park. I apologize for all the videos, I don’t understand why Team Coco felt the need to break the interview up into three sections. It’s worth watching all three:
John Mulaney was the stand-up guest. He was very funny, which is good considering he writes for SNL:
Great show, I give it: