Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:

You know how every cable news channel would like you to believe that America is spiraling downward, that our best days are behind us? Well, it turns out they’re wrong, because there’s a brand new product in our grocery stores. A little something that goes by the name of Triple-Double Oreos. It has a layer of vanilla cream, a layer of chocolate cream and a layer of adult-onset diabetes. You can’t even dunk them in milk, they’re too big. You have to dunk them into a cow. Your move obesity! You know, if there a way to wrap this thing in bacon we could probably elect it president.

On-again, off-again presidential candidate Donald Trump may be on-again. And why not? He has that everyman quality that we can all relate to. Donald Trump really is a genius. Everybody knows he’s doing this for publicity. I know he’s doing this for publicity, and yet, here I am giving him the publicity for it.

Obama has been making stops in a number of cities to conduct town hall meetings, and they’re very well attended. Despite his low approval ratings people still want to see the president. And since nobody’s working right now they don’t have to take the day off to do it.

Joel McHale was the first couch guest. He’s on two television shows and the upcoming Spy Kids film. The interview was entertaining. Joel was casual, funny and told some good stories. He just seems like a really nice guy. You know, the kind that would be really fun to grab a burger with. Here was my favorite part:


Joe Mantegna was the second couch guest. He’s on the show Criminal Minds. His interview was very similar to Joel’s, in that it was good overall, Joe was nice and he told some entertaining stories. Here was my favorite part:


The Band Perry was the musical guest. They did a nice job.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night