Lopez Tonight Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Lopez Tonight:

So, last week they warned everybody in Los Angeles they were going to close the 405 freeway. They said, “Stay in your own neighborhood this weekend.” They’ve been telling Latinos that for 75 years. Also, they’ve been telling us to put your baby in a car seat, but we never listen.

They were making repairs on the 405 freeway. They actually finished early. They did the job in less than two days. You know how they did it so fast? No permits.

I’m glad it’s 405 and not the 420 freeway cause they’d still be working on it. [Stoned] “There’s no pot in these holes.”

Snooki last week was so wasted she was videotaped making out with a potted plant. If Snooki was wasted making out with a plant, imagine how drunk the plant had to be.

Piers Morgan was the first couch guest. He is the host of Piers Morgan Tonight on CNN and is a judge on America’s Got Talent. The interview was pretty good. I find Piers very entertaining on AGT, yes I admit I watch that, so I enjoyed him on Lopez as well. He told some interesting stories and even touched on the News Corp scandal. I think the interview is worth watching:


In-between guests Lopez did a segment about his time last week in New York City. It was fun enough to recommend, even though it ended up being just one big advertisement:

Kunal Nayyar was the second couch guest. He is on the show The Big Bang Theory. I’m a huge fan of TBBT, so I was really optimistic that this interview would be good. Instead I’m bummed to report that the whole thing was pretty lame. Kunal is a funny and talented guy, but he just did not show it here. Lopez asked him dumb questions and Kunal told uninteresting stories.

Jordan Knight was the musical guest. Wow, he was terrible. I’m not kidding, he was really really bad.

It started out great and ended decent. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night