Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

Tax time. Anyone filed their taxes yet? Get yourself a good accountant. I’ve got a fantastic accountant. This guy can figure out, down to the time of day, how much time I’ll get off for good behavior. He’s a genius.

How ‘bout Southwest Airlines. They have a new promotion: 40% of your ticket, 30% off the plane.

The White House now says it will be staying in Libya longer than expected. Boy, I didn’t see THAT coming. Yeah, they were a little off. They said the original estimate was two weeks, they’re now thinking maybe 12 years.

Over the weekend President Obama announced that he was running for a 2nd term as President of the United States. There’s a brand new campaign slogan: Gimme four more years to find my birth certificate.

The desk segment included Top Ten President Obama Campaign Promises for 2012:


Don Rickles was the first couch guest. He is a legendary comedian who, I didn’t realize, is still alive and performing. The interview was entertaining. Don basically spent the entire time in character insulting Dave, Paul and the band and everyone else. Here’s a clip to show you what I mean:


Eva Longoria was the second couch guest. She stars on Desperate Housewives and has a new cookbook. The interview was pretty good. Eva was a fun guest because she smiled and laughed a lot, was very outgoing, spoke intelligently and wore an outfit that was, at the very least, interesting. Here’s a clip:


A very good show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night