Late Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

I forgot to change my clock. Forgot to set it forward. So these jokes might not be funny for another hour.

They say it’s the groggiest day of the year. Everybody is groggy. Driving to work today my navigation lady said, “Hey, you should have turned left back there.”

They’re talking about the NFL, the big player’s lockout, and there may not be any football. And here’s the problem: they’re having a lot of trouble agreeing on stuff. You’ve got the owners and you’ve got the players. One thing they do agree on though, and this is hopeful, both sides agree that the Super Bowl Halftime Show has got to be better.

Celebrity birthday, happy birthday today to Poppin Fresh. The Pillsbury Doughboy is 51 years old. [Crowd applause] You’re applauding a phony animated character.

Two years ago, did you hear about this, about Poppin Fresh, sad. Lost all his dough to Bernie Madoff.

The desk segment was Top Ten Things You Can Expect In Charlie Sheen’s One-Man Show:


Charles Barkley was the first couch guest. He is a former NBA player and current NBA commentator. I never followed Sir Charles when he was a basketball star, but I always enjoy him on Letterman. He’s funny, smart, opinionated and can laugh at himself. He and Dave get along really well, which makes the interview very entertaining. Here’s a good clip to show you what I mean:


Sarah Vowell was the second couch guest. She is an author. I didn’t like Sarah at first, as her voice takes some getting use to. I warmed up to her by the end of the interview, however. She has a dark sense of humor and is self-deprecating. I can get on board with that. Here’s a clip:


Cold War Kids was the musical guest. They were pretty good.

Fine show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night