Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

Everything in Chile is going well. The last miners are being brought up as we speak. Did you see them come out? In that tiny tube the trip took like 15 to 20 minutes to travel 2000 feet. Or as we call that in LA: rush hour.

It was pretty tiny. They’re jammed in there, little tiny cramped capsule. It was dark, it was scary. Fortunately a lot of these miners had flown Southwest, so they were used to it.

One of the miners had a wife and a mistress. He was the 21st miner out, and his wife didn’t come to meet him. However, all his clothes and his belongings, they were all there.

So once all 33 miners have been rescued that means the only one still stuck in a hole of his own making: President Obama.

In Southern China a three year-old boy who weighs 140 pounds has been banned from several nurseries as a danger to the youngsters. Give you an idea of how fat this kid is, his nickname: The American.

McDonalds in Hong Kong will start allowing couples to get married in the restaurants. Lemme tell you something, if your marriage starts off in a fast food place, that “till death do us part” thing is not far off.

The desk segment was Real Pet Products. This was the best desk segment I’ve seen on Leno in a long, long time:

Harrison Ford was the first couch guest. He’s in the upcoming film Morning Glory. Like all geeks, nerds and dorks I love Harrison. He has played terrific roles in a lot of fantastic films. So, it’ll probably come as no surprise that it was great to see him. The interview was a lot of fun to watch. Harrison is older, but I think he’s still got it. Here’s the 2nd half, which I found more entertaining than the first half:

Whitney Cummings was the second couch guest. She is a comedian who has made television appearances on a variety of shows. Here was her stand-up routine:

Gogol Bordello was the musical guest. This is the 2nd time I’ve seen them on a late-night show this year. They’re still pretty entertaining.

Great show, best one I’ve seen since Conan left. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night