Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!:


Lady Gaga was here in LA over the weekend. And once again Lord Gaga was nowhere to be found.


Paris Hilton is getting sued by a hair extension company. The company said she violated her endorsement deal with them by wearing a competitor’s hair extensions. I didn’t want to say anything, but I too am wearing a competitor’s hair extensions. This is a wig made entirely from material found in Jay Leno’s shower drain.

This company is seeking 35 million dollars in damages, which is ten times what they paid her for wearing their products. Which means Paris Hilton got three-and-a-half million dollars to wear fake hair. Imagine that? That’s more than she gets paid to wear nothing. So there you go. Another reason to jump.

Hayden Christensen was the first couch guest. He is in the new film Takers. The interview was ok. I dunno. Maybe he’s a great guy, but he didn’t come off that way in the interview.

Criss Angel was the second couch guest. Criss is, of course, a famous Las Vegas magician. The interview was pretty good. His tricks were very entertaining. Check them out:



Ozzy Osbourne was the musical guest. He’s getting up there in age, but he still sounds great. I was surprised at how good his voice was. He really is a medical marvel.

Good show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night