Jimmy Kimmel Live! Highlights

I’m setting the Wayback Machine to last Friday to review Thursday night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! Here were my favorite monologue jokes. They ‘re a little dated, but still funny:

For the second day in a row there were no World Cup Soccer games today. I missed the sound of vuvuzelas so much I taped a beehive to my head.

The Nigerian team finished last in their group. They didn’t win any games. And as a result of that the president of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan, has suspended them for two years. And what does it say about the state of our news organization in this country that a guy named “Goodluck Jonathan” is president of the largest country in Africa and I’m only just now finding out about it.

Dakota Fanning was the first couch guest. She is in the new Twilight film. It’s amazing how many movies she has been in and how many stars she has worked with, and she’s only sixteen. The interview was great. She was very energetic and easy going at the same time. She communicated so well that I would argue she interviewed better than the majority of Hollywood stars twice her age.

Bill Keaggy was the second couch guest. He is the author of the book Milk Eggs Vodka, which is full of discarded grocery lists that he has collected over the thirteen years. The interview was fun because they spent most of it reviewing grocery lists. It’s worth checking out:

Korn was the musical guest. They did some good headbanging.

Great show. I give it:

– Woody

Posted In: Late Night