Tonight Show Highlights

Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno:

Hey, you all ready for the upcoming finale of Lost? Well, enough about the Cleveland Cavaliers.

The first lady of television, Ms. Betty White, is on the show tonight. She has been around for a long time, hasn’t she? You know, when she first started, celebrity sex tapes were still silent.

The Senate today voted to toughen standards for home loans. Under these new standards lenders would have to verify that borrowers can repay the loan. You can no longer borrow money if you can’t pay it back. Let’s just hope China doesn’t adopt this rule or we’re screwed.

Happy birthday to the birth control pill. The birth control pill turned fifty years-old this week. You know what that means? If you’re fifty-one there’s a good chance your parents didn’t want you.

The desk segment was called the Ross Report. It’s a guy named Ross Mathews who talks about real things going on in pop culture today. I’m sure someone probably finds Ross funny, but it wasn’t me. I did not find the segment entertaining and am consulting a lawyer regarding suing NBC to get those eight minutes of my life back.

Betty White was the first couch guest. Betty, who has had a very long and active show business career, is riding a revival popularity wave these days with commercials, a new television show and as the most recent SNL host. The interview was thanks to Betty being a great sport when it comes to making people laugh at her own expense. Here’s a clip:

Jarod Miller was the second couch guest. He is a zoologist who brought some animals on the show for Jay and Betty to experience. Like chefs who go on late-night shows to cook, I tend to be a sucker for animal-management guests, so I thought the interview was a lot of fun, especially since he was generous enough to include Betty in everything he did. Here it is:

Macy Gray was the musical guest. She was good.

A fine show. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night