Late Show Highlights
Holy cow, I’m actually going to get this out at a decent hour. Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:
I, um, I’m aware that the only reason you people are here tonight is volcanic ash.
Thousands and thousands and thousands of tourists are stranded in Europe. They can’t go anywhere cause the planes aren’t flying because of the big volcanic ash. But it’s good…it gives an opportunity for the passengers, now, to go down to the bar and actually share a bar stool with the pilots.
It’s the biggest cloud next to the one hanging over the Pope.
You know who else is celebrating a birthday? Kate Hudson. Happy birthday to Kate Hudson, thirty-one years-old. Last year she was at every Yankee’s game, she was dating Alex Rodriguez. This year she was traded to Angles for Cameron Diaz. The Yankees really wanted to keep Kate Hudson, but here knees were shot.
Saturday night baseball game the Mets were playing the Cardinals. The game lasted seven hours. Seven hours. That’s unbelievable. After the fourth hour I called my doctor. I said, “is it supposed to last this long?”
The first desk segment was a story from Dave about a martial arts birthday party his son attended. The story was pretty funny, and Dave broke his microphone in the process. The second desk segment was a performance by formal Idol contestants Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens:
Jennifer Lopez was the first couch guest. She’s staring in the new movie The Backup Plan. I’m not a huge J-Lo fan, but it was a better interview than I expected. It started out slow, but got better when she started talking about her two-year-old twins:
It’s very clear to me now, having a boy a girl, the differences between men and women. Women, in a good way and in a bad way, think… a lot, too much sometimes. And men don’t, in a good and bad way.
I was also interested to learn that she completed a triathlon six months after giving birth. Wow. Finally, here’s a funny clip from the second part of the interview:
Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg were the second couch guests. They are the hosts of the ESPN radio show Mike & Mike in the Morning. I don’t listen to the show, but I’ve seen them twice on Letterman. They’re good guys who know their sports and are fun to talk to. The interview was fine, but too short. I wish they could have been on longer so that they don’t have to rush through their opinions on the sports world.
Good show. I give it: