Late Show Highlights
Happy Tuesday. Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:
Lotta sales on President’s Day. In fact, the jokes tonight are all fifty percent off.
The race took them like seven hours to run yesterday. You know why? There was a pothole. Honest to God, a pothole in the track at the Daytona 500. And I’m thinking, “Well this kid ought to be right at home here in New York City.”
This pothole they said was two-feet wide. And I’m thinking, “Now wait a minute, two-feet wide? Our potholes have potholes bigger than that.” There’s a pothole over on Eighth Avenue that’s so big it has its own gift shop.
You know who was at the Daytona 500? Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. She was at the finish line and she waved her checkered past.
You know what else is going on? It’s the Westminster Kennel Club dog show down at Madison Square Garden. And was last week Fashion Week or is it this week? This week. So you’ve got the dog show and you’ve got Fashion Week. I’m telling ya, we’ve got bitches coming and going.
The desk segments included an elevator race and the Top Ten Things George Washington Would Say If He Were Alive Today. I wish I had a clip of the elevator race, in which two Late Show staff members raced in elevators from the lobby to the eleventh floor, because even though Letterman called it “stupid” I thought it was fun. Fortunately the Top Ten clip is ready and willing at your convenience:
Tracy Morgan was the first couch guest. Among other things he’s in the new movie Cop Out which opens next week. When I reviewed Tracy on the Late Show last year I commented on how hilarious he was. I didn’t think he was as funny this time, but he was still immensely entertaining and I enjoyed watching him. I don’t think I’m alone in this. The Late Show belongs to Letterman; he’s the captain and he steers the ship. Tracy, however, is probably one of only a handful of guests who Letterman will actually handover temporary control of the show to, sit back and go along for the ride with the rest of the audience. That’s how much Letterman thinks of Tracy. Here’s the entire interview:
Jamie McMurray was the second couch guest. Jamie won the Daytona 500 on Sunday. The interview was good. Jamie was very charismatic and did a nice job. Here’s a clip:
Fanfarlo was the musical guest. They gave a nice performance.
Overall it was a really good show. I give it: