Late Show Highlights

Ok, all of my late night homies are back. Here were my favorite monologue jokes from last night’s Late Show with David Letterman:

Congratulations to your New York Yankees for capturing the American League Pennant. So we have a bet with Philadelphia. Now, if we win the bet, Philadelphia sends us a Philly cheese steak. If we lose we send them a dead mob snitch.

How many of you are here because the Northwest pilots overshot Minneapolis? Hell, who hasn’t missed an exit, you know what I mean? It was a scary flight because they nearly had a mid-air collision with Balloon Boy.

Over the weekend Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka Trump got married. Donald Trump, he’s a wealthy guy, you know. He actually hired Mayor Bloomberg to be the little guy on the cake. Donald Trump was thrilled. He said the day was so beautiful it reminded him of his third wedding.

The desk segment began with Letterman telling a story about the after-school magic program his son Harry is in. Apparently the magician started with good magic tricks, but now, five weeks later, he spends the entire time talking about his adventures on the road. Letterman then performed the first magic trick his son was taught in the program, making a quarter disappear.

He followed up that story with #82 of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Getting chopped up by helicopter blades.

He finished with the Top Ten Northwest Airlines Pilot Excuses. Number 5 and 3 were my favorites.

Charles Barkley was the first couch guest. He spent the first half of the interview talking about how much he sucks at golf. Apparently he sucks so bad he quit. They then spent the second half of the interview discussing the upcoming basketball season. He likes L.A. and Boston the best. I’m not necessarily a Barkley fan, but I’ve always found him funny, and he didn’t disappoint last night with Letterman, so I enjoyed the interview.

Cheryl Hines was the second couch guest. She’s an actress on the HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm, and is also directing her first movie, Serious Moonlight. Cheryl is nice and the interview started fine, but it really took an upswing for me when she mentioned that she plays tournament style poker. Now that’s a person I can get onboard with.

Harper Simon was the musical guest. Harper is the son of Paul Simon. He was good.

Good episode. I give it:


– Woody

Posted In: Late Night