Tonight Show Highlights
Anyone see The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night? These were my favorite monologue jokes:
President Obama has found a way to quickly close Guantanamo Bay. He’s going to turn it into a Pontiac Dealership.
The economy is hurtin’, everyone is doing bad. You know the Cheesecake Factory? Now it’s the Cheese Whiz Factory. The economy is so bad Amy Winehouse is now just snorting diet coke. It’s so bad that Bill Maher went to church for the free bread and water. It’s so bad Michael Vick is working at Pet Co.
According to a recent poll, when asked if English should be America’s official language, 85% of the people said “Si”.
I so so so wish I could embed the Best of Celebrity Correspondents segment. They showed a ton of clips, including Chapelle (“Nothing says Black History Month like Utah.”), Mo Rocca (“Do you like football?”) and Brad Pitt (“I would do anything to get you to see this movie.”) which almost brought be to tears because it was so funny. I totally recommended watching it.
Bill Maher was Leno’s first guest. It was his 50th appearance on the show. I don’t watch Maher generally, but he was as smart, feisty and funny as I’ve heard. He doesn’t let up on anyone, including Leno. It was a good interview.
Adam Richman was next. He’s a pretty happy guy. I guess I would be too if my show was all about traveling around the country and eating as much bad food as I can every week. Lucky son of gun.
Mandy Moore was the musical guest. Meh.
– Woody
